Sharon tells him that if she is carrying anyone’s baby, it has to be Barry’s, to which the pharmacist casually replies, “Sharon, if you are, it’s going to make me crazy.” Ladies and gentlemen, we call this dramatic foreshadowing. This time, he’s convinced that Sharon is pregnant because she’s been sitting down and peeing a lot. * Not only has the pharmacy been restored to its original glory, but Sharon and that pharmacist whose name I can’t bother to learn are back on their BS. Is that how kidnapping works? Is that how any of this works?! She tells the officer that he kidnapped her, resulting in Barry’s immediate arrest. * Barry lures Ruth to the police station, shouting “Lock her up!” several times in the process, but his plan hits a snag when Ruth “cleverly” flips the script on him. * In other functional-relationship news, Richard is still furious with Nancy for having a secret affair baby while he was “out there fighting in the war.” (Which war, you ask? … Actually, it’s better if you don’t.) Richard is so angry, in fact, that he ravages poor Nancy’s unwashed salad - which is not a sexual metaphor - and makes her clean up the mess. Other greatest hits include “I will poison him and her!” and “That’s right, I just threatened POTUS and FLOTUS!” “You better pull those pants down!” He does his best to calm her down, but it’s too late. “I will burn this bitch down with both of us in it,” she threatens. * Sam returns from his meeting with the First Lady sporting what appears to be a boner, so Priscilla does what any level-headed wife would do - she demands that Sam drop trou in the middle of the White House kitchen so she can smell his genitals. Other developments that we simply must discuss… How is his sister sleeping through all of this?! And when she asks for clarification, he jumps straight to calling her a stupid bitch and choking her out. He attempts to change the subject, asking his grandmother to turn the plane around so he can clean his room (aka dispose of Jean’s body), but she isn’t having any of it.
“If I go into that bathroom and find any sign that you’ve been doing anything perverted, you’ll be in big trouble,” she says. Jason eventually emerges from the lavatory, but the murderous wanker brushes off his grandmother’s line of questioning with a simple “I’m constipated.” Nevertheless, she persists.
(A few questions: What exactly is getting Jason so horny? And why does he always do this when his family is around? … Oh, that actually answers the first question. Naturally, he’s pleasuring himself in the bathroom, something grandma is not happy to hear.
This is good news for Jason, who’s currently aboard a private jet with his grandmother and sister. Unfortunately, a distraught Laura is carried off on a stretcher before she gets a chance to tell anyone about her discovery.
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